The Dam
I’ve been having this dream: it’s cold and dark, I’d stand there motionlessly in front of a shore or on top of a dam, appreciating the magnificent scenery. The water is always alarmingly high, just right beneath my feet.
I have this dream once every 2 weeks or so, frequent enough that I started to notice there was a pattern. It's always at night time but somehow I can clearly see everything, maybe the moon is high I’m not sure? There’s always thousands of tons of water that overwhelms my small figure. I always feel so sad in those dreams, the sadness flows through my body the way you drink some hot liquid on a cold winter day, then actually feel the substance going down your throat and spreading out all over your body, reaching your toes and fingertips.
That same dream visited me last night. This time was at the top of a full dam, the water was overflowing, it slowly approached my bare feet like a sneak approaches its prey. Cold and crystal clear water. Slowly and gently it wets my feet. Again, I find myself standing there, the familiar sensation takes its time to cripple my body.
I woke up, almost 7:30 AM and the alarm hasn’t gone off. My mind is so clear like I’ve been awake for hours not just woken up.
It suddenly hits me, the meaning of those dreams!
Have you ever walked past a street for like 2 dozen times, just to realize there’s a coffee shop in the middle of it? It is so obvious yet blinded by you, you never saw it until now. Your reaction would be “holy shit how could I’ve never seen this before”. That was exactly what I felt.
The water in the dream is the representation of kept away emotions and feelings and whatever parts of me that were hidden, regulated by some sorts of “wall”. The wall is a structure within me designed to store those unwanted craps. My brain has been cooked up this metaphor to let me know there’s too much “water” and the “dam” is overflowing. Ahhhh, clever! Well played brain! I always know you’re smarter than me!
Now I gotta do something about this. I’d have to find a way to offload the water in the dam and have to do it in a very controlling dose so friends and other people still see me as a fellow human! After all, It’s unhealthy to have a full dam, whether in reality or in your head.
